My brother is gone.

Eccl. 3:3 there is a time to grieve, and I am in it.  My youngest brother died yesterday.  We weren't supposed to bury him first, he was only 48, but death is a part of life.  I wish that he had taken better care of himself, but these last several years had been his best yet.  He was finally living free from the life crippling addictions that had  haunted him for so long.  He had a job, a place to live with a wide screen tv, and he was smiling more than he had in a long time.  He was even looking for a good church and had found real hope in his relationship with God.  I had more hope for him than I had in a long time, but he is gone.  We laughed and hugged a lot during thanksgiving this year.  He flew down to Georgia from Pa. and we ate way too much great food.  My children took him into their hearts and loved him completely.  It was a great sight to behold.  My mother would have been proud of him, if she were still with us today, but we lost her when she was 48 for the same thing (heart attack).  It seems strange that they died at the same time, for the same reason.  I know that John is happy tonight because he is with his mommy once again, and little boys should grow up with their mommies, but he didn't get to do that because she died when he was just 12, and I don't think he ever recovered fully from that loss.  My children got to be with their mom  during those important years of childhood.  I don't know how they would have made it without her, and he certainly struggled.  Drug addiction stole a lot of important years from him, but he never got away from God's relentless love.  My fathers guilt drove him to overcompensate for John's loss, but what was his mistake?  He loved too much.  I wish we were all guilty of that sin.  My brother Michael and his whole family gave John chance after chance, always hoping for the miracle that finally came this year...sobriety.  For years we were afraid that we would get a call in the night that his life had ended in tragedy.  That call never came, but he is gone, and that is the tragedy.  I will miss you John.  We will never stop loving you, and we will love your son.  God's relentless love pursued you in many dark places and it will pursue him as well.  We love you so go see your momma.